someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize