I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We need to get me chipped asap
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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