Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
it's like heaven, but drunker
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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