just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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