no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
This is the high leading the old right now
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
