in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
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