He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
