Ambien. No doubt about it.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Randomize
