Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize