while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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