I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
