He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
