i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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