I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
