Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
