idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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