My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
