Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize