Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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