she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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