I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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