I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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