Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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