I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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