So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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