She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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