Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
