My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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