I wish they made helmets for livers.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
