a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
