If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
