you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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