goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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