Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
