Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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