Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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