i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
