He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
