Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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