i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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