u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
