every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize