i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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