What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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