nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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