i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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