is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
