She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Randomize
