Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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