It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize