I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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