So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
