His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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