at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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