just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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