If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
