and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
