We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
